Thanks to a nice outspoken female, who I have imbibed with, I am memed. I'll try to make these interesting...
1) I was almost expelled from a Catholic primary school (St Mary's Darwin) for writing a horror story about werewolves.
2) I was almost expelled from the same school for making a joke about balls.
3) I was on a dark road just outside Darwin with friends when 2 armed cops pulled over, trying to pick a fight so they could do us over. None of us rose to the bait and they left after 10 minutes, but you never forget.
4) My fiance was the first woman in 8 years of serious dating who I went out with for over 3 months. I knew I was in love with her within days of us getting it together. We tie the knot in just over 3 weeks.
5) I went to the same school as Tony Abbott and Nick Greiner, but it made me revolt and take up heavy metal guitar and anarchism.
6) When I was 3 I fell into the Moorehead River, deep in the Papuan jungle close to the Irian Jayan border, and almost drowned. I still remember clearly the smell and taste of the water, the sensation of floundering, the way the light dappled green through the water, the image of every crocodile I'd ever seen flashing through my mind, then the explosive crash and the feeling of my mum grabbing my hair and dragging me to the surface.
7) I started arguing with teachers about politics in year 9, as a right winger.
8) When Joe ran for PM, I wrote "Joe for PM" on the blackboard.
9) My father only hit me once in my entire life. My mum made him do it, and I could tell this made him extremely upset.
10) I didn't go out with, date, or kiss a girl until I was 16.
11) My cat can play fetch. If he brings you something and you ignore it, he hits you on the foot and points with his head.
12) In cadets I was the best in our platoon at sneaking up on people on my belly- I could move across leaves and broken branches without making a sound.
13) It took me 22 years to become happy with my appearance. That was also the year I realised I was going bald.
14) I failed year 12. Twice.
15) From 1996 to 1998 I had more trysts with women who had husbands or boyfriends than with singles.
16) Are we there yet?
17) I was in Dili (pre Independence) when Archbishop Belo returned after winning his Nobel Peace Prize, mingling with the crowd at the cathedral, and an Indonesian spy was killed in the grounds and carried right past me.
18) At the Catholic boarding school I attended in year 8 (St John's College Darwin), we had a paedophile Brother who would insist on rubbing scrot-rot ointment into the sweating crotches of the older boys. Thankfully I was still pre-pubescent.
19) I was brought up in Kakadu and was an obsessive fisherman. My largest was a bull shark about 8 foot long. It was in a tiny creek that flowed into King River, 40km from the sea, in Arnhem Land. When it felt my hooks bite it charged towards the mouth of the creek but there was a fallen tree partially blocking its exit so it leapt out of the water, over the tangle of branches, and belly-flopped on the other side. It is one of the most spectacular and awe inspiring things I've ever seen. When it eventually tired I was determined not to kill it so I refused to even lift its head out of the water for photos. I made my dad reach into the murky water with a pair of pliars and release it.
20) I once caught typhoid in Indonesia and got over it on bottles of water and about 3 packets of Panadol.
I tag anyone who reads this site, consider yourself memed!
A minute's silence - Is there anybody, anywhere in the state of Victoria who is as happy as I am that this awful week is finally over? Of course there fucking well isn't, what ...
10 hours ago