"Sorry I'm late sweetheart"

"Daddy got held up at work"...

Bear rolls away, faces the wall.

"You always do that".

...

*stomach tightens*

"Sorry luffy, it'll improve soon..."

In fact work has been getting a bit saner. But that doesn't stop the parent guilt or my desire to improve things further.

That feeling stayed with me all the next day, I was running for the lifts when I finally got out. Got home just in time, but thankfully Bear gave out a big hug and seemed satisfied with my efforts. But I swear she said something like "Improvement..." Mitts just laughed and tackled me, as always...

And now your kids are slightly cross...

They are stepping up to a higher level of crossness, and we are being held to account!

Beloved went on a well-deserved couple of nights away staying with a good friend, and the kids were fine, asking a few questions, but generally having a good play with me and behaving. I was a little surprised, as it is the first time mummy had been away for more than a few hours (I know, she needed it!). But then she got home, and with Mitts it was on. "Naww" he grumbled, waving his hand 'away', as she repeatedly tried to bond and catch up, while latching onto my legs and frowning at her.

Harsh. It probably took over an hour for him to soften and let her have a proper hug.

I had a couple of late evenings in a row with work, and it was Bear's first Kinder day, so I called up just before bedtime to ask how her day went, and she wouldn't speak to me. She said something odd like 'Don't do that ever again', and I think she knew I was calling because I couldn't get home in time, and was saying 'that doesn't count'.

I got home and went straight in to check on them and she was still slightly awake, and she squeezed on to my hand then said 'Tomorrow daddy I want you to come home from work early'.

!

It stayed with me all the next day and I did, indeed, come home early to a wonderful reception.

Work has been relentless and as always the balance between boredom and insanity seems hard to find in a job. I'm glad I'm here, but hoping for change down the track as I get better.

And I'm not looking forward to the reaction, from Mitts in particular, when I return from a week away next month.