Tuesday, August 16, 2005

To not elope

A couple of nights ago I heard my beloved saying to someone on the phone that we knew it could get bad, but not this bad.

I never underestimated the depths we could plumb preparing a wedding, never underestimated the capacity of close relatives to drive you up and right over the wall, into a bed of thorns on the other side of sanity.

Hence eloping was very attractive. Still is, though it's probably too late. I had 2 potential plans for a romantic elopement, which I'll share with anyone interested.

One involved a beautiful hotel on Jimbaran Bay in Bali. You get these private villas, Balinese architecture, with their own little plunge pools, on the edge of the cliff looking out across the ocean. We would go into the garden, I would turn and ask her, she would laugh and say yes (I always knew she'd laugh when I proposed, and she did) then I would lead her into the area where the plunge pool is, and it would be covered in flower petals, and there would be a celebrant there dressed in a simple white robe, and there would be a couple of people playing Gamelan instruments, and several kids in traditional outfits dancing along the side of the pool, and the music would stop, and we'd have a brief exchange of vows, then the music would start again and they'd all leave slowly, and when they were gone, we would undress and slide into the pool and be merry and conjugal. There would be Billecart-Salmon beside the pool for refreshment.

The other was simpler. In it we would go for a long weekend to Uluru- beloved has never been. We would go to Kata Juta (Olgas) and walk to the top of the valley of the winds, one of the most spiritual places I've ever been, and there i'd propose, and she'd laugh and say yes, and we'd have a simple ceremony back at the resort followed by champagne and lobsters under the stars.

Are you telling me formality, speeches, relatives ad nauseum is more romantic?


MrLefty said...

Buggered if I know why we didn't elope. Why the hell did we want the family involved? We were mad! MAD I tell you.

But of course once you've started planning it's too late. There's no way your fiancee's going to consent to an elopment after enduring all the wedding planning to this point.

Crystal said...

Look at The Whole Deal in it's basic form:

It is the signing of a Contract.
There are Witnesses (and their friends)
You serve them all refreshments.

'Romance' is not a component.

Armagnac Esq. said...

I'm pretty happy to sign my contracts without witnesses, especially where I have complete and utter trust in my co-signor.

LadyCracker said...

I vote for number 2 and will happily help you pack

Another Outspoken Female said...

I will happily out myself as someone who has never seen the point of marriage. Imho it is an outdated vestige from the days when women were possesions to be sold by the patriach to secure land/business deals so his dynasty could endure. So what's a nice lefty like you doing getting married in the first place?

Beyond that little issue, weddings are big business and from what I have observed has very little to do with the enjoyment of the couple involved. Save the money, or even better give it to your favourite charity. If you still feel the need to embark in this archaic ritual, sneek off to your favourite piece of nature, with a celebrant and the other accoutrements you require, say what is meaningful for you, sign the deal.

The whole kerfuffle seems to be making you two very unhappy which kind of defeats the purpose really.

trix said...

I find most weddings and wedding organisations nauseous. Especially if both parties have close-knit families. I agree with the comment above, it adds unnecessary strain on the relationship.

I guess that's why many people say weddings are more for the family, not the bride and groom.

Close-knit families led to my parents not naming me for three months.

Armagnac Esq. said...

Well, for what it's worth, I think trix is a loverly name =)

Mindy said...

Elope. Cancel the ceremony and meet them at the reception.

Rachy said...

mate, I totally agree. The formality and speeches and all of that is for everyone but the couple concerned, I think a big huge wedding focuses on exactly that. The wedding. The smaller and the more intimate ceremony focuses on the actual marriage that will ensue. And isn't that what it's all about? Alas, I guess some things do need to be done in the name of tradition... I still love your style