Fucking fonts

Before I launch, here's some lighter wedding moments from a Jaded DJ, via the wonderful Brownie:

The Greek wedding where the Greek DJ I found was from the wrong part of Greece and other tales...

Last night: the previous fight between beloved and her father has patched up. We want to do the right thing, and consider requests. So on the phone last night-

-a story in itself, we're watching Desperate Housewives, eating dinner testing a Cab Sav we might use, and the phone rings, and I say fuck it we're eating dinner, it's one of the rellies probably my mum, I'll call her after, and it rings all the way out, that's about 30 damn rings, then it rings all the way out again, then it starts again, so I walk up swearing and wrench the phone cord out of the wall, then re-attach it and shove the handset in a drawer, and it rings again twice, all in the space of about 20 minutes, so when I do pick it up a couple of minutes after the show ends I'm thinking someone must have been in a car accident-

- so anyway, her dad's called and they've looked at the invites and they have a couple of ideas.

Fire. away. please.

Got the email with the proposed invites, looking ok. Note the one you like. Don't agree. Isn't the invite that's tall rather than wide better? It looks better to us, how about changing it so it stands up straight?

No? ...Oh....

Well, what about re-wording the details about the date, time and location to read bla bla Turd* instead of bla Turd bla as you've got them now? We think that would be excellent, consider it please.

Have you written those ideas down?

Hangs up; look of despair.

We look at the re-word idea and it's fucked graphically, the lines are different lengths and fonts so that something like this:

bla bla bla bla
Turd Turd
bla bla bla bla
Turd Turd

Would become:

bla bla bla bla
bla bla bla bla
Turd Turd
Turd Turd

Which stuffs up all the nuance. You'll have to take my word for it.

So we spend the rest of the evening trying to think of something we can actually allow her dad to organise, so he has a role, so the peace is kept.

Why can't someone for once say we like your idea just as it is?

We go to bed early, and I hold her and tell her everything is alright.

I read myself to sleep.


(*Slight adjustments made to actual lines here.)