Thursday, August 03, 2006

Grumpy Old Satirist v Rich and Thick

Could it all be satire? Best writing and funniest thread in ages over at the Sternezine (via TimT). There is bound to be trouble when people click directly through to a post on a satirical site without seeing it in context...

Tim Sterne on teens:

There was just so much wrong with high school: the teachers, the curriculum, the dubious sausage rolls in the canteen. Particularly distasteful was the forced daily contact with the school’s complement of psychopaths, sluts, stoners, bullies, flashers, boozers, wankers, geeks, freaks, and people who brought samples of their ejaculate to school in jars.

It seems to go against the natural order of things to see a teenager actually contributing to civil society. It’s like watching a gorilla suckle a parrot – sure, she’s helping and all, but it’s still fucking sick.
Teens (or some other illiterates, trolls, or fun-loving net yobs) on Tim Sterne:

omg i just LAWL at that artical! so let me get this straight what your trying to right about. YOUR A FUCKING FAG! is that it coz thats all im seeing!

U R SO TOTLY GAY OLOL NUB EMO FAG GO CUT PLXS OMFG WHORE BTW STEEV IS A L33T PLAYA IRL AND IS NOT HIS FAULT SECURITY FAILED TO PUL AGGRO OFF MR HOWARD B4 HE GOT THERE

your just some sick weirdo who needs to find something better to do in his spare time

You must be some dickhead if you wright 857 word to show the world how shit at life you are.

steve has some uber 1337 micro. and u got no idea. Ad nauseum.


So many it actually looks like they could be real. I've no idea why Sterne tolerate this nonsense, but if linking this attracts any illiterate trolls I shall evict them and their comments from the Armagnac den immediately.

Meanwhile, leaving the hugging of Prime Ministers to one side, I wonder what Carey's literature department think of the quality of their students' flaming?

And can anyone explain Uber 1337 Micro?

9 comments:

JahTeh said...

It took me ages to read the comments because I read English, proper English not this teen text rubbish. For the sake of my sanity please explain Uber 1337 Micro and L33t.

phil said...

If this is the future, we're in deeper trouble than I thought.

Tim said...

I'm pretty sure 1337 is derived from hacker speak, but now is used solely by sad sack teenage gamers. Dunno what it means though. Pretty sure "micro" refers to gaming equipment, consoles and the like. As for the rest of the abbreviations and general crimes against English, your guess is as good as mine.

As much as I like picking on this sort of stuff, I do feel a bit like a Grown Up going, "So 'bad' actually means good? And 'hot' means 'cool'?"

Lord Sedgwick said...

The uber cool term "wickered" is what I tend to throw into a conversation with people I regard as groovy, hip, with-it dudes (i.e. entities under 50 years of age still with a goodly percentage of their own teeth and internal organs) and consequently get heartily larfed at - or burned at the stake within an inch of me personal Fahrenheit 451.

Boysenberry said...

1337 and leet both mean "elite".

If the freakies get a bit out of control with their language, try the Urban Dictionary.

Armagnac Esq. said...

Well that's better... now, for uber elite micro...

If the shorter version of sterne's post is that we shouldn't look on teenagers so fondly because the overwhelming majority are complete retards, the comments he attracted filled with this sort of crap seem to back that up.

Tim.. I know what you mean, but in an era of worshipping anything that derives from the brats, sometimes it's worth just calling this crap for what it is.

Zoe said...

uber 133t = exceptionally fine
micro = killer gaming moves

Old foges like us can get an urbandictionary.com plugin for their search bar in firefox and thus sound knowledgable.

And sheesh, armganac, you're grumpy today!

Armagnac Esq. said...

Oh I AM!

Actually I'm not in an overly grumpy MOOD, I just have this thing where if I'm a bit fluey and high on cold medicine I get a wee bit Tourettes...

JahTeh said...

I have added the Urban Dictionary to favourites. At last I know what <3 is, it's an online heart, you have to twist your head to the right. I can now sleep at night.