Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Unborn Child Who Came In From The Cold

We should be starting to feel safe by now. We have passed the 12 week mark. But we, and in particular beloved, are more afraid than ever.

There's a scene in a Cold War classic by Le Carre. I read it years ago, the detail eludes me. The scene is a short exposed strip of road. At the end of that strip of road is safety. It is so close, the chase is almost over. But as the protagonist starts to run, a finger is squeezing the trigger of a Kalashnikov.

On the cusp of declaring ourselves clear, of making the formal announcement (yes dear readers you are ahead of most of our friends and family), we both feel so prone to losing everything. She is almost distraught with fear, I am helpless and useless beside her. She dreams of miscarriage, waking often.

This week could not go fast enough. I want to run across the last strip of calendar and dive into next week. By next week I know we'll be stronger. Things can always go wrong, but somehow next week seems like it is beyond the reach of the stalking snipers of the 1st trimester.

12 comments:

adam said...

Best of luck, Armaniac!

Pavlov's Cat said...

Roger that.

And in the meantime, whenever I was wishing for time to pass quickly, my mum always used to say to me 'Don't wish your life away.' I always thought it was pretty good advice.

Nilk/Leeianne said...

The fears are normal, Armaniac. If your beloved hasn't started hearing the horror stories of pregnancy and labour I'd be surprised. The Cone of Silence is lifted and far too much information comes flying at you.

It's frightening, your body is being taken over, and you have no control.

It's a very confronting time for both of you.

Good luck and God be with you both.

In a couple of years' time you'll both no doubt be shaking your head at the fears. (This is not to in-validate them, just to let you know that they do pass).

Boysenberry said...

It's a helpless feeling for a fella; not quite knowing what to do, because there is so little you can do. Hugs, listening and reassurance is about it.

Good luck.

Armagnac Esq. said...

You're all fantastic, thank you.

Gianna said...

fingers crossed for you guys!

don't forget, we're intelligently designed for this. so despite the ungodly and sadistic levels of pain involved in producing offspring, for most women it all goes without much of a hitch. enjoy the journey.

Armagnac Esq. said...

We've had some very good news, will post asap...

naomi said...

Good to hear - it's a nerve wracking time, and personally I didn't entirely relax until I was about 30 weeks pregnant.

Brownie said...

Will it help you get through it all if I reveal to you that this loved and wanted precious new person may possibly join The Liberal Party ... or the army ... or become phenominally wealthy selling real estate?
No part of the Parenthood Highway is smooth.
Much love and good wishes from me anyhow.

Armagnac Esq. said...

Real estate and army are both ok by me.

JahTeh said...

If you're worrying this much now, you'll never make it through to the teen years when the real worrying starts. You'll have to learn to pace yourself.

Don Quixote said...

You'll get there soon buddy - just focus on the excitement and joy.