My Daughter

We put them to bed last night without food or water. This morning they were both irritated and adamant; staring at the spot where the food should be, miaowing. I let them out for the usual morning walk in the front garden. The cat box was sitting in the living room. Mao was suspicious and guarded, because he's been through this already. Minh was fine, bouncing about, wandering back in to let out a squeak next to where the food should be then back out onto the grass. I picked her up and held her, told her I'm sorry. Started saying it's for your own good but realised that, well, it isn't really.

We spay cats for our good, the good of unborn and unwanted kittens, and the environment. It's a worthy concept, but I couldn't really say it is for her.

She cried and kept sticking a paw out through the bars at the front of the cat box as I carried her down the street. At the vet's a woman who was there with her own cat saw Minh crying and started crying herself.

When I got home Mao stood near one of the walls in the back yard - I think he thought she'd run off- and yowled. These days they're inseparable, and he follows her constantly.

He was inconsolable. I am finding it hard to concentrate on work, my surrogate daughter is under anaesthetic....