Thursday, November 27, 2008

Intrepid moments of partial hesitation...

Monday I start working in a new section, with a new team. I was bored and they are doing relatively exciting work, but it is impossible to be blase about shifting just 8 months after joining this government department.

I am uneasy, and perhaps the times are such that I am a little less cocky about my ability to just find another job if things go awry.

Last time I had a child on the way was the last time I was looking hard for work, and it was not pleasant. I don't want any further disruptions for a while.

So perhaps I'm overly sensitive at the fact that the red carpet isn't exactly being rolled out. I prevaricated a couple of times before agreeing for the move to go ahead, and I think in the process managed to take some of the gloss off my impending arrival, and lay seeds of doubt about my enthusiasm. It's almost a childish need, but I like to feel feted, wanted, when making a career move.

My new team were too busy to talk when I dropped through on a visit. Laughter in the halls was promised, but work and promises are fickle things.

My things are packed, my new desk is claimed, but I feel a little empty.

It is time to head for home.


Jez said...

Hang in there mate, catch you this weekend?

Armagnac Esq. said...

Ay, most likely.

Helen said...

I think this kind of thoughts are common when you're going into the (relative) unknown.

(W/V is UNDISHEM - an old Ashkenazi term for the fear of appearing before an audience of strangers in your undies, as in nightmares)

phil said...

As I always say to my team, "Don't expect it to make sense."

Seems to work.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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