Diet solution found!

Put on about a kilo and a half- 50 % of my promise to Bear. Upped my benching by 10 kilos. Commenced growth of a manly mo. Consumed protein en masse. Worked hard for weeks on end. Walked around house with handgrips. Push ups on my knuckles up from 2 or 3 to over 10. Almost ready to cultivate super mullet and fake tan.

Spewed for an hour, shat for a day.

Lost a kilo. 2 steps forward 1 back, to be mathematically precise.

So if you've come here because you googled the heading on this piece my advice is don't waste money, just hang out with a baby with gastro.