Monday I start working in a new section, with a new team. I was bored and they are doing relatively exciting work, but it is impossible to be blase about shifting just 8 months after joining this government department.
I am uneasy, and perhaps the times are such that I am a little less cocky about my ability to just find another job if things go awry.
Last time I had a child on the way was the last time I was looking hard for work, and it was not pleasant. I don't want any further disruptions for a while.
So perhaps I'm overly sensitive at the fact that the red carpet isn't exactly being rolled out. I prevaricated a couple of times before agreeing for the move to go ahead, and I think in the process managed to take some of the gloss off my impending arrival, and lay seeds of doubt about my enthusiasm. It's almost a childish need, but I like to feel feted, wanted, when making a career move.
My new team were too busy to talk when I dropped through on a visit. Laughter in the halls was promised, but work and promises are fickle things.
My things are packed, my new desk is claimed, but I feel a little empty.
It is time to head for home.
Hang in there mate, catch you this weekend?
ReplyDeleteAy, most likely.
ReplyDeleteI think this kind of thoughts are common when you're going into the (relative) unknown.
ReplyDelete(W/V is UNDISHEM - an old Ashkenazi term for the fear of appearing before an audience of strangers in your undies, as in nightmares)
As I always say to my team, "Don't expect it to make sense."
ReplyDeleteSeems to work.