Monday I start working in a new section, with a new team. I was bored and they are doing relatively exciting work, but it is impossible to be blase about shifting just 8 months after joining this government department.
I am uneasy, and perhaps the times are such that I am a little less cocky about my ability to just find another job if things go awry.
Last time I had a child on the way was the last time I was looking hard for work, and it was not pleasant. I don't want any further disruptions for a while.
So perhaps I'm overly sensitive at the fact that the red carpet isn't exactly being rolled out. I prevaricated a couple of times before agreeing for the move to go ahead, and I think in the process managed to take some of the gloss off my impending arrival, and lay seeds of doubt about my enthusiasm. It's almost a childish need, but I like to feel feted, wanted, when making a career move.
My new team were too busy to talk when I dropped through on a visit. Laughter in the halls was promised, but work and promises are fickle things.
My things are packed, my new desk is claimed, but I feel a little empty.
It is time to head for home.
amare-habeo: Hans Bellmer (German, 1902-1975) Untitled... - amare-habeo: *Hans Bellmer *(German, 1902-1975) Untitled (study for “l'Histoire de l'Oeuil”), 1946 Pencil on paper, 23 x 19 cm
17 hours ago